so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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