I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
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