I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
