last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
there is glitter all over my balls
God I need to hump something, right now.
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