Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
