Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
