We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
why is half of my head shaved?
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