I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
