so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
