At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
