the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
