i permit you to call me
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
