Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
