So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
