I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
