Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Buhtt sex?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Randomize
