margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
