your room smells of hookers.
And success
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
