honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
