She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Randomize
