as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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