Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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