its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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