Whoa Z and x make the same sound
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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