Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
How external is "for external use only"?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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