He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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