just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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