Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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