So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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