I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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