Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
