I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
