I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
