Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
