69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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