i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
