How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
