new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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