the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
