I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
