So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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