My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
