i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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