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things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize