Little spoons don't ask big questions
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
