I am puke
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Found the puke drawer
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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