Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
