youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
