once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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