He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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