I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
