eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
